So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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