PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
