YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
