Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
