she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
