Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
