i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
