I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Couch. On fire.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
