hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
