Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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