Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize