Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
