So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
