Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
pray to the hookup gods
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
