The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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