I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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