Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
