Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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