we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
