Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
