You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
