we have officially lost it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
