Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your penis caused this!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
