fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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