I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Terrible idea I love it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
