you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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