Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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