oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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