This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Are we still banned from the library?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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