dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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