Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize