insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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