i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
