he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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