Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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