I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
