was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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