I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
