Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
