thus making me awesome and them whores
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
