The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
