is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i came on her dog
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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