its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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