vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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