capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize