just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
