I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
