Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
