I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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