:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
