so explain again why im purple
no
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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