he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
