Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
