Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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