shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
