so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
