Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
