it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
