Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
