Please, let me fuck your mom
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
