You really coming over, don't trick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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