Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you will always have a special place in my vag
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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