we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
that may or may not have been my penis.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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