I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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